10 August 2020 — I DON’T LIKE MONDAYS
This song by the Boomtown Rats seems very appropriate to me today BUT IN ACTUALITY its not MONDAYS generally I don’t like, JUST TODAY. So why have I chosen to give myself a bad day today? Simply because I have been tackling something I DO WISH TO DO but around which I have a lot of anxiety and fear. AND it looks as though I may have conveyed that energy of fear to the computer and printer because I have certainly had many problems with both!
Socialisation from my past is running rife — ‘that’s not for the likes of you’! ‘you’ll just be wasting your time’.
SO HOW HAVE I BEEN CALMING MY ANXIETY ?— in my usual manner by eating sweet food which I certainly didn’t need as I did manage to cook myself a very decent lunch.
What is it of which I’m so afraid? Stepping into the new? Doubting my ability to carry out my wish successfully? I keep telling myself ‘not to be so silly’ as it is hardly a matter of life and death if things go haywire, and, if I end up with ‘egg on my face’ so what? I keep reminding myself that we would still be in the dark ages if people hadn’t trusted their instincts/intuition and explored the NEW. What I would like to do and FEEL I NEED TO DO will make a great difference to me HOWEVER, it is hardly going to affect THE WORLD merely give me personal satisfaction and that ‘feel good feeling’ of having achieved a personal ambition of mine.
I need, perhaps to listen to the voice in my head which is telling me NOT TO TAKE MYSELF SO SERIOUSLY: to lighten up. If things do go ‘PEAR SHAPED’ then, at least, I will have the satisfaction to know I tried my best and it wasn’t to be instead of forever wondering ‘what if …..!’