19 January 2020 — How We Respond to Others Comments To Us

The saying ‘Throw a ball against a wall: if the wall is hard the ball bounces back but if it is soft and yielding it will just run down the side’ is very good advice. Advice I feel is not always easy to follow.

How often when we feel unappreciated or maligned by others do we immediately stiffen up and, perhaps even pride ourselves on having gotten the better of the person? This often sets off the pattern of ‘tit for tat’ (the infliction of an injury or insult in return for one that one has suffered) and the ball keeps bouncing back BUT if we are able to be the ‘Ah So’ Monk then the ball will just run down the side of the wall.

The ‘Ah So’ Monk is a character in an apocryphal tale — one of doubtful authenticity although widely circulated as being true. The story goes that the monk in question was walking with a novice monk when they came across a woman unable to continue on her path because of a huge puddle, the senior monk lifted the woman up and carried her across the puddle. Afterwards the novice monk kept chastising him for breaking the rules and having touched a woman. The senior monk is said to have replied “I put the woman down way back but you are still carrying her around”.

As I write repeatedly ‘The POINT OF POWER is ours in the moment when we are able to let things RISE AND FALL in the moment without allowing them to go around and around in our minds.